I Choose Love

I’ve been watching myself these days.

I’ve been taking time to sink into some of my repetitive emotional reactions that I notice rising up. I’ve been going for a deeper dive to search for solutions within me.

It’s been an enlightening experience.

For instance, the other day I was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when my phone pinged. I looked down to see the text and became aware that the heat of anger was rising up to my head. “Woah,” I thought to myself, “this is a strong reaction to be having at 8am. I need to work on this feeling.”

So, right there at the breakfast table, I sat quietly and tried to feel into my heart. Calmly and without judgment, I sank directly into the center of my anger. What I found there was a feeling of hate. Now, I know it’s a bit of a risk for me to say that here, because some people may judge me as being evil or something. However, I don’t think that having the feeling of hate inside makes me evil or bad in any way. In fact, I think it just makes me human. I believe that we all have these kinds of dark and heavy feelings lurking in the depths of us, and when they go un-cleaned and un-processed, they cause bigger problems in our lives.

So, I allowed myself to sink into the center of my hate. And when I did that, I discovered that the root of my hate came from my hurt. A while back I had felt hurt by the person who was texting me, and I had not properly cleaned up that hurt, and that’s why I was being so reactive at the sight of the text. I thought, perhaps this is the root of all of the hate and anger in this world – unprocessed hurt. Hurt that one is not able to own. It’s my hurt, just like it’s my hate and my anger. It’s my choice to hurt. And suddenly I thought about my texter. She too probably had hurt deep inside of her own heart. And perhaps that’s where the problem between us began. Once I honestly and completely allowed myself to feel this, suddenly my hurt transformed into a sense of empathy, and I felt my heart filling up with compassion. I felt lighter and a sense of brightness, and I was able to live an enjoyable day with greater sense of compassion as I interacted with the world. I enjoyed that moment, knowing that my feelings may come back again, but that I had made some significant headway on them.

Then again, as expected, more recently I found myself sinking into another uncomfortable feeling. As I let my awareness drop in, I discovered the feeling of hate again. “Aha hate, I know you!” I thought. “I already know that you are just a product of my hurt, so let me find where I am hurting and face it.” So I did just that. I bravely felt into the center of my hurt. It wasn’t easy, as I found the energy to be so very tight and dark and lacking. This lack was what was causing the pain in my heart. So I tried to enter into the lack and found that this was the place inside of me that was void of love. A place where I did not allow love in. A place where I starved myself of my own love. Ah ~ all hurt comes from a lack of love, a place where I do not love myself! As I realized this fully, a sense of unconditional love opened inside my heart, like the morning sunlight shining in as the curtain is slowly being drawn.

Finally, I faced my hurt head on and found that it was this everlasting love that I was ignoring, that was at the bottom of all of my hurts. The Love was always there, waiting for me to choose it. Not the love from somebody else, but my own self-existent love. It was there waiting for me to feel it in every breath, in every blue sky, in every person’s heart. What a beautiful Love it is! And it is my Love. It’s my Love to feel and share. All the times in my life that I had suffered, it was because I had closed the door on that Love and was left shivering in the darkness of the lack. Suddenly it all became so seemingly easy. All I have to do is choose my Love. Over and over and over again. Until it is a new habit.

Even when I feel hurt by another, if I look deeply, I can see that it was born from my love and care of that person and my interpretation that somehow they were not loving me back in the same way. That too was also just my perception and my story. The truth at the bottom is that I have loved them, and that I have a great and bright and warm Love within me. The most important point is not what they did or have but that I recognize my own precious Love that lives inside of me.

I found this discovery to be very very good news. It brought me hope and peace. All of the people of my life danced through my mind and I felt my pure love for each of them. But most importantly, I felt it for myself. Not like, “Oh Danielle, I love you.” But more like, at the fibers of my being, I AM LOVE ITSELF. And nothing can take that away from me. Unless I choose to let it. So I declared to myself that from now on I will pay more attention, I will put more effort. I will be more awake.

Moment by moment. Day by day. I choose Love.

20 in 2020

This year celebrates my 20th year of practicing Body & Brain. In fact I realized this yesterday, on January 11th, because that was the exact day that I joined as a member of the center in Waltham, MA., just a few miles from my parent’s house.

I know this because the master of the center had written my name and joining date on my uniform, which I practically lived in. I wore that uniform so often that one day my friend turned to me and said, “Could you at least take it off when we go out in public?” Hahaha ~ I had no awareness of those kind of things back then. All I wanted to do was practice. I only thought about when I could go back to the center next and do some training, some cleaning, drink some tea, have a profound conversation with someone, read a book, water the plants, listen to a peaceful song… I felt most alive when I was at the center. The center that was tucked behind a gas station, above a dry cleaners, that housed a couple of pigeons and vibrated from the machines below, was a place of magic and wonder to me. A place of love and authenticity where I felt rescued from the insanity of the rest of the world. I had no idea on the day that I first walked in that I would become a life long practitioner, but in just a few months it was very, very clear to me. I had found myself and found my home.

Never before or since have I been so clear or certain about such a decision. My path, my practice & my teacher mean so much to me. I am proud of myself that through all of the waves of hardships and struggles that I have experienced in the last 20 years, I have been able to hold on to my Truth. I have been able to maintain the choice that my Soul made way back then – when my hair was long and I rode my bike to work – the choice that I couldn’t help but make when I encountered the pure light in my heart. I felt I needed to honor and protect that light and make a choice to really live my life dedicated to it. It didn’t make sense to others around me – to be so dedicated to something that is not seen by the physical eye or valued by this physical world. But my spiritual eye had opened and from that perspective there was only one thing to do. Live for something bigger than my small self. Choose for something greater than my small life. This brought great joy and peace to my heart, and continues to.

I am thankful that with my choice I gave my heart room to expand, I gave my Soul an opportunity to truly grow and I gave Danielle a clear direction to walk through this chaotic world. It’s really not an understatement to say that I feel eternally blessed.

So at this celebratory moment, I’d like to offer my thanks. To Heaven for guiding me. To Earth for loving me. To my Seu-Seung Nim for showing me the way. To my many fellow travelers who walk beside me and give me hope. To all of my mentors who rescued me in hard times. To all of my students who make me a better person. To those of my family and friends who supported my choices along the way. To all of you – my readers – who have allowed me to experience the joy of sharing across space and time. And to myself. For never giving up.

It’s 2020. It’s monumental. Let’s make it really mean something. Let’s Get Bright. I love you ~

Get Bright!

2020 is coming. It’s almost here.

I really feel like this is the year. It’s the year to get bright. It’s the year for all of humanity to jump up our collective consciousness a notch and move into a new, more awakened awareness.

I choose this light. I choose it for myself first. I choose to get bright.

I am looking back on this year with awe. There were some really big things that happened and big successes that I would have otherwise overlooked had I not decided to take time to really reflect.

Without that reflection I feel it was just a year of inner conflict, hard decision-making, and a drop of avoidism. Yet, if I see without emotional eyes, there were so many things achieved. Amazingly, there were dreams that I had been dreaming for the last 5 years that were actualized in 2019. And I almost missed the chance to realize it! That’s why honest, non-judgmental reflection is so important.

Heaven is always helping us. I’m not talking about a religious Heaven. I’m talking about the invisible, spiritual world that is moving in accordance with our deepest wishes and intentions. It’s watching and listening and if we continue on with sincerity in our little lives here on Earth, then at some moment it brings to us what we have truly wanted. I have experienced this so many times.

At the same time, we have many “unconscious wishes” that we are putting out into the universe as well. Our emotional reactions and bad habits are also bringing equivalent energy and experiences back to us like a boomerang. An oriental medicine doctor once said to me “It keeps going around and around like this until we return to zero.” I guess this is what can be called ‘karma.’

That’s why I feel it’s so critical for me to really get conscious about this process. That is the only way to get back to 0. To become ever more conscious and intentional in my life. Then, I can truly get bright. I think it’s urgent for all of us who have some awareness and awakeness in this world right now, as we stare into the eyes of 2020, to become conscious about what we are putting out there. Let’s dream the same beautiful dream for our earth and the future of our humanity together, and then miracles will truly be possible. I believe this. Do you?

I am thinking of all of you and feeling you in my heart at this important time. Let’s bring our minds and our spirits together. Let’s get strong, get hopeful, get creative, get honest, get alive, get free, get powerful…..Get Bright!

The Light and the Dark

I asked my brother to share my post about my new YouTube show to his friends on Facebook. He’s a rising star artist so I thought it would be a good way to circulate the word out to a new audience.

He told me he’s not on Facebook anymore.

He told me I need to get active on Instagram.

*Sigh*

I barely just pushed myself out of my I-don’t -like-Facebook-I -don’t-want-to-post-anything-there box, and now there’s a whole new challenge to face. Seems like they are never-ending sometimes, doesn’t it?

And these little challenges that we face day to day are not just small things – they are connected to BIG stories, dramas, traumas, memories, and wounds they we have held inside for so long. One tiny little poke and boom, they burst into a mushroom cloud of smoke that covers our eyes. Well, sensitive people like me (and probably like you!) can tend to feel that way.

Truth be told, the reason why I began this mind/body/spirit practice in the first place – and the reason why I continue with it and seek to share it – is because I needed it desperately and I use it every single day of my life. I am an expert at putting to practice all of the things I talk about in every post I write, in every video I make, in every class that I teach. Because I need to 🙂 It has become a great new habit of mine – to practice and share and awaken from what I practiced and shared – a healthy habit replacing the long list of bad habits I was once pinned under like a wrestling match with an over-sized beast.

My journey was born out of darkness. And a deep longing for Freedom.

Today, I find myself still longing for that freedom, getting closer and feeling hope that transformation is possible. If I can do it, anybody can do it. Anybody who really wants to.

Everything begins with our will, our choice. And every step of the journey is carried forward by that same will to make that choice again and again and again…in the face of anything.

Decide who you really want to be, how you really want to live. Choose it. And then run towards it.

Does running include falling down? Yup, it does. Does it include getting a little banged up sometimes? Yes. Does it include feeling exhausted sometimes and lying on the grass for a while, staring at the sky, until you feel ready to get up and move again? Yes. Yes. Yes.

What’s really important is that we are just aware of this process that’s unfolding. That we are becoming conscious beings and conscious creators of our lives.

These days I have been reading different books and watching different speakers on YouTube. I really feel hope. From one perspective, the world is getting much brighter. People are waking up. And not only are they waking up, but they are sharing their awakenings in attempt to help enlighten and enliven others. It’s truly a beautiful thing. It’s like a global movement that we don’t even realize we are a a part of.

At the same time, flip the channel and the world looks like a dark terrifying place….like, what the hell is going on??? How can human beings be such a way and do such a thing to one another and to our beloved planet?

Yes, it’s all existing at the same moment in time. The light and the dark. And the principle of energy is: The Stronger Energy Wins.

That’s where you come in. Each one of us are so important to determine the “winner” here. Which energy will you feed each moment? The Light or the Dark? Again, everything is up to choice. And will. And the more we see our role in this – that each one of our heart’s and minds are so important, as we are profoundly connected in one energy field, one consciousness, the stronger your will can become.

That’s my will. No matter how dark it was and how dark it can be, no matter how many boxes I have to smash through, how many challenges I have to overcome, how many beasts I have to unpin myself from…I will never stop choosing. The stakes are high to me. My freedom is waiting. And I feel the heart and breath of my Mother Earth, watching her children, wondering, “what will they choose for me?”

Let’s have courage. Blessings to us all ~

My 2019 Surrender

It’s mid-October and there is only 1.5 months left in this year. I think that it’s a good time to self-assess our 2019 goals!

For me, this year’s theme was “Letting Go, Letting Go, Letting Go.” Yes, I put THREE Letting Go’s in there! What was I thinking ??! 🙂

Well, it turned out that I did have quite a big letting go experience this year. It was an experience that taught me – for the first time – what true letting go really is.

It was not a pleasant experience, mind you. Not while I was in the middle of it, anyway. It felt like dying. Ego dying. Because, in fact, my ego was dying.

The ego doesn’t go out easily. Its instinct is to live. It has its roots in the human body, so it behaves with the same program as the physical body – the program to survive.

The soul, however, has its roots in the Divine Oneness. It exists in and of itself eternally. Therefore, it doesn’t try to live. Because it cannot die. It just Is. It exists, like a great presence, that just watches and waits. It waits for us to seek it out. To find it.

What I came to realize was that my ego was feeding off of so many wants and likes that were living in my head and heart. “I want it it to be this way!” “I don’t want it to be that way!” “I like this!” “I don’t like that!” I had a laundry list of desires that I was attached to in my mind, and I was fooling myself believing that they were the only things that would make my heart happy. But what can really make the heart truly truly happy? Attaining my wants and likes? But then what happens when life brings me things that I don’t want and that I don’t like? Should I just be miserable then? Should I just suffer and live trying to dodge the so-called bad and reach for the so-called good? Personally I found this to be exhausting. And all it brought to me was a bunch of disappointment, a whole lot of unrealistic future fantasy, and a growing blockage in my heart chakra which bred all kinds of emotions such as frustration, anger and pride.

So what did I do to solve this? Finally, after a wild ego fight, I decided to let go of them. I let go of the wants and the likes. I just let go. Stop. Grabbing. For that stuff. And just be. And when the pain of my shattering ego cleared, there was a great light and peace inside. There was nothing, really. So my Soul could stretch out. And I felt freedom. The freedom of letting go.

Now, although I feel that my experience was one of the most profound and important spiritual experiences that I’ve ever had, which led me to a far deeper understanding about myself and life, I feel that it was just the beginning of a new door opening. I need to continually keep my eye on that ego of mine, that starts to build itself back up again in an instant, feeding off of all my opinions and ideas – my judgements and my desires. I’m not saying that the ego is bad, I’m just saying that after awakening my senses with Brain Education all these years, I am able to feel how uncomfortable and unhealthy it is for me to let my ego run my life and make my choices. A far better, although seemingly harder, but definitely greater choice would be to just surrender. Surrender to what is, and let the shell of the self who tries to fight and control it to be otherwise – with endless expectations and untruths – fall away. It’s just a shell after all. A shadow. A story. An illusion. These stories make me sick. And I choose to grow myself into the person who no longer buys into them.

It’s scary. We feel deep down that perhaps we will be painfully lonely if we let go of such stories and habits that have been with us for so long. In a weird way, they have become our “friends.” But such “friends” prevent us from true happiness and peace. They don’t allow us to exist here and now. They are stealing away our precious present moment. That is why we have to take the risk. And when we do, we will find, rising out from that darkness, the truth of Life.

It’s so hard to describe. And, it’s possible that this blog post has failed to do so. However, I wanted to try. Because it is the most important thing that happened to me this year and it wouldn’t have happened had I not had the goal of Letting Go. Letting Go. And still….keep….ever….Letting Go.

More from the Connect Book

I came across two passages in the Connect Book that I especially loved, and resonated perfectly with my own experiences on this journey of growth and transformation. I also felt they were quite relevant to the things I am usually talking and sharing about, so I wanted to post them here for you!

Continuous choosing and practicing are required to be a Power Brain. Just because you’ve had a moment filled with confidence and hope, that condition won’t continue forever. You may go back to a Dark Brain state, pushed there by the inertia of habits ingrained in your body as you’ve lived your life. There’s no other way out but to honestly check the condition of your brain. “My brain is now a Dark Brain,” you realize. “Negative consciousness is occupying my brain again.” Then you can choose whether to continue in that state or get yourself out of it. Isn’t it fortunate that you have been given the power and authority to make that choice at any moment, no matter how difficult or troubling your situation may be?

A Power Brain is someone who has clearly realized this: “I am responsible for my life and the condition of my brain!” Don’t push that responsibility off onto anyone else, and don’t make any excuses. Choose this harsh truth, and choose it over and over again. Practice, and then practice again… To achieve brain mastery, it’s only natural that innumerable attempts, trial and error, and continuous choosing and practice are necessary.

-Ilchi Lee, Connect, p. 162-163

When we trust that it’s all about choosing and practicing again and again and again, we can relax our minds and cultivate patience about our own process. It is, after all, a process that takes time and devotion, sincerity and humbleness. It is a process that strengthens our will and conviction with each and every choice that we make.

When you enter into deep meditation, you’ll clearly see the current state of your consciousness. You’ll realize what has captured your brain. You’ll see that the forms of negative consciousness…are actually heavy baggage continuously pulling you down. You can’t help but be shocked when you see yourself holding tightly to such things, even though all you have to do is let go. Why? It’s because those things are delusions. No real answers are found there, no matter how much you cling to them. You will just spin endlessly through a repeating circuit, going back and forth between suffering and pleasure.

If you tell people to let go of those delusions, though, they often act as if it’s so hard that it’s going to kill them. That’s because they are comfortable only if they are holding onto something. Living that way has become a habit. They don’t realize that they need to hold onto something else instead of what they’ve been grasping. What should you hold onto? There is but one answer: your true self, your original nature! This is your soul, and the divinity your soul wants so much to meet. That alone is true and everlasting.

-Ilchi Lee, Connect, p. 163-164

Letting go, recognizing illusions, choosing your truth. This all sounds so simple but often times feels so difficult to do. However, once we begin to get the hang of it, it leads us to extremely profound and liberating places. And although everything in our lives may remain the same, we somehow feel that we are new.

I hope that you enjoyed the quotes I posted today. If you resonate with them, feel free to share. Also, if you have had a chance to read the Connect book yourself and there were other parts that particularly touched you, please also share with me in the comments anytime!

Connect

Connect. A perfect word for this moment.

First of all, I am happy to have a chance to sit down and write this blog and connect with all of you once again. It has been an extremely busy couple of months for me, as I have been re-locating the Body & Brain Center where I work. I have never done such a project before, so it was a whole new world for me, and it took every ounce of my brain power to make it happen. Now that it’s wrapping up, I have time to reflect and re-connect.

I have been reflecting upon my theme for 2019 that I set out at the beginning of the year. I realized that I am more than halfway through the year, but I hadn’t yet stopped to evaluate my goal! My theme for this year was, “Letting go, letting go, letting go.” It’s funny to me that it was not just ONE letting go, but THREE of them. Now I know why the universe worked so hard to keep delivering this lesson to me! The year so far has looked very much like this: Let Go. Let Go More. No Danielle, you have to let go EVEN MORE! Thank you, Dear Universe, for loving me so much and keeping me on track to achieve my goal 🙂

Let go of what? I feel that most of all I have been asked to let go of two things. #1) My fantasies and illusions about people (including myself), and life. And #2) My reactions. Not only my reactions to outside circumstances, but my reactions to my own habitual thoughts, emotions and sensations. Let me try to explain this a little more…

Recently, we had a visit from a great senior master – Ilchi Lee’s longest student – Byuk Woon Sunsa Nim. While he was here in Washington, he said something that really pierced my consciousness. His words shook my brain and heart. He said, “Life is a daydream brought on by physical sensations.” Wow. Yes. So true. That’s how my brain responded. Day to day, moment to moment, we are all in a sea of many sensations arising from all kinds of stimulus. Then, unconsciously we keep making our own meaning, ideas, stories and fantasies based on those sensations. Further, we go on living our lives – making our choices and actions, building our relationships and our self-identity – according to such a fantasy. This is why awareness and watching ability is so critical. So that, at the very least, we can all become the Master of this Daydream we call Life.

My letting go experience this year has been very much a process of breaking down and sometimes even shattering the fantasy. Although this can be an extremely painful experience at times, there is nothing that has brought me closer to a sense of freedom. A momentary awareness of the place of zero attachment. Momentary. But, enough to influence me in profound ways. It’s like a disconnecting with the construct of life and the people in it that I have created, and a re-connecting with my Self.

So, it’s perfect that Ilchi Lee’s most recent book is called “Connect.” As I have been reading this book, there have been times where I literally say “Yes!” out loud because it has been so perfectly speaking about my own journey, as well as the process of Self-Mastery that I try to teach my students. And at other times, warm tears streamed down my cheeks as I have contemplated about my Soul. For instance, just last night I was sitting in my car, waiting for a meeting and I read this short passage:

Tell your soul, ‘Oh my soul, I’m truly sorry for leaving you like this. Immersed in other people or things, I failed to really take interest in you. Please forgive me.’

~ Ilchi Lee

When I read these words, I paused for a long time to have a deep conversation with my soul – right there in the parking lot. It was an open, honest, touching conversation that brought me healing and strength.

Personally, I made a choice 17 years ago to live for my soul above any other thing. As I have embarked on the journey to do so, there have been many many times when I have fallen into the grip of my own emotions, judgements and habits. There have been times when the shouts of my physical body, or the circumstances around me, pulled me here and there and I lost my precious soul. However, I am proud of myself that I never completely let go, and I always found my way back to the pure essence that I love so much and want to live for. The pure essence that I want to create a beautiful world for, and that I want to awaken in others. I always come back to my truth and my purpose. And this is how I have grown. But as I read this book, it reminds that there is still a ways to go, and it wakes me up to what I need to do.

So, the book came to me at a perfect moment. I highly recommend it for anyone exploring emotional mastery or spirituality. We always need the reminder to Connect more deeply with ourselves and our souls. And if we consciously try to connect with others from that place – rather than from our thoughts, emotions and fantasies – than I think we could heal our wounds, mend our conflicts, grow our love, and make our world a brighter place. All it takes is a bit of courage, choice, and letting go 🙂

Lastly for today, I will leave you with Ilchi Lee’s youtube video on Connection. Let’s stay connected! Enjoy ~!

New Face

By the way, do you like the new face of my blog?

I wanted it to give it the flavor of Body & Brain for a while, since these days I am very much focused on my new Emotional Self-Mastery show on the Body & Brain YouTube channel.

I want to thank all of you who have watched that show so far, and who have commented and posted questions. I am so very grateful for your support.

I love writing this blog. It is such a joy to express my feelings and awakenings through words, and to hear your thoughts and responses as we all navigate together our inner worlds together.

I also love teaching. I love meeting my students in the classroom or online and sharing these principles and practices, helping my students to awaken themselves, and witnessing before my eyes their various transformations.

However, trying to deliver all of this content that means so much to me and has such a power to heal and awaken, on a little black screen to I don’t know who is sometimes….. well, I don’t know. I’m undecided on how I feel about it.

My goal and purpose is to help people help themselves. It’s to make this world a better place in doing so. It all comes from the deepest place in my heart and that’s why I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to those of you who have been supportive and participatory.

I welcome your continued support, questions and comments! I truly pray that we can help even more people in the process.

I have now added a new vlog section to this blog so you can check out the show right here. It will be a reinforcement of all that I am always writing about on Healing Tree, and another venue for us to interact and hold hands together on this great Healing Journey!

Watching Power

When I say “watching”, I’m talking about inner watching. I usually define watching for the purpose of emotional self-mastery as: Identifying without judgement.

Identifying what? Thoughts, feelings (including physical pain and emotions), and beliefs. It’s totally different than mentally examining or analyzing such things, because that would naturally involve a lot of judgement. It’s not easy to stop the judgement, because that’s what our minds are habituated to do. So, it requires getting out of the mind, out of the thoughts and ideas about myself, and into the feeling.

Now, most people have very strong beliefs that negative feelings are “bad” and positive feelings are “good,” so dropping into the feeling can be quite tricky. It’s almost instinctual to try to escape the feeling with some sort of avoiding mechanism, whether it’s just hopping right back into the mind about a feeling, or avoiding it altogether with entertainment, alcohol, food, friends, whatever. Or, some people just endlessly react to the feeling with more emotion and more pain, which often involves some kind of judgement and blame of self or others and now we are just heading further and further away from watching.

The problem is that we identify with our feelings too much. This may be conscious or unconscious, but it’s engrained in each of us and educated by generations. The bottom line is that we have lost our true identity and we keep wrongly believing that we are our thoughts, we are our emotions, and we are all of the information that we have accumulated inside from a lifetime of experience. This is precisely why watching is so important – we need to separate ourselves again and again and again from those false identities. We need to endlessly make space from them, so we can remind ourselves of who we really are and look again at ourselves, our circumstances and all of our issues with new eyes and new perspective. In order to not live our lives as slaves of our false inner programs, we must cultivate the ability to “watch” ourselves – to observe ourselves from a distance. Through this, we begin our road to freedom.

However, as hard as it is, feeling is a mandatory prerequisite for watching. If one cannot feel, one cannot watch. We need to feel everything, so that we can watch honestly, so that we can come to accept ourselves fully. It requires some courage. Courage to face the painful feeling head on. One needs a fierce determination for it and a wisdom that knows, “This feeling is not me, it’s just what I have inside.”

These days, I am personally challenging myself to face what I call, “the intolerable feeling.” It sounds scary, right? But actually the more I practice, the more I enjoy it! What do I need to be afraid of my own feelings for, anyway? No matter how old they are, how deep they feel, what kind of wounds they stir, how dark they may seem – they are not real. I am confident about this. I just have not yet mastered them all. Therefore, the deeper ones that I haven’t been able to take a complete look at yet, still bite me sometimes. And sometimes their bite is worse than others. But again, these are ghost bites. Old memories. Old beliefs. Wrong perceptions. They are not the truth of me. They do not speak of my true worth and value. And I’m pretty tired out from a lifetime of giving them such a power…. Aren’t you?

So, let’s do it. Let’s face the intolerable feeling. Once you get good at sitting in that uncomfortable place, you come to find that the dark clouds do eventually part. There is a clear and bright sun of truth behind them. In simplest terms, this brings a great sense of relief and joy and here’s that word again: FREEDOM.

Recovering our true worth and value is the key to solving so many of our issues. To do so, we must train ourselves to have the strength to feel our feelings accurately and watch them without judging them. We need to see them without reacting to them, face them without running away. I know it’s not easy. If it was, I wouldn’t be writing a blog post about it 😉 Don’t expect easy or comfortable! Overcoming oneself and developing self-mastership involves quite a bit of discomfort ….with so much reward at the end! It’s just like strengthening your muscles. It takes practice. Daily practice. Even hourly and moment to moment practice to stay aware, awake, and alert about oneself. Let’s catch our inner ghosts before they catch us 🙂 One tip I have is: Try not to be hard on yourself in the process! Keep a more enjoyable perspective such as, “Hm, this is an interesting thing that I do!” And have fun solving it through sinking in and getting really real with your feelings. Don’t identify yourself with them – they’re just feelings! They are not who you really are. If you need a reminder of who you really are, look up at the blue sky. Sit next to a tree. Listen to the flow of a mountain river.

We are nature. That knowing will become your vitamin, giving your Soul the strength to stand up again and again.

There is nothing to fear, let’s give it a try. If we fail, we’ll try again! Every moment is a new moment. Let’s cultivate our watching power.

Life, YouTube, Flowers

Long time no blog!

Although I have not written for a while, the inner journey continues. I had wanted for a long time to try to communicate and interact about the subjects I have addressed here through YouTube. This year, I was happy that the Body & Brain Youtube channel invited me to do a show on motional management. I’m attaching a link here, and I would love to interact with all of you through that show! I feel like when we recognize our likeness and support each other in the process of inner growth and healing, it gives us the strength and courage to keep doing the work. And why do we need to keep doing the work? Because we are transforming into our greatest selves and the more we let our light shine, the more we change this world.

Here’s a clip of my introduction below. I want to design this show so that every other week we can have a Q & A session for the topics discussed. I hope you will participate!


Beyond that, my life continues on with the theme I set for it this year, the theme of “Letting Go”. I have been discovering how to utilize my body to help me let go in many ways and it has been very liberating and rewarding for me. Rewarding, I suppose, because I have tried unsuccessfully for so long to let go on deeper levels, and now it feels I am actually moving in the direction that I want to go.

I have found that letting go requires being brave, trusting myself and forgiving myself. It requires believing in the truth of my soul, more than the lies that my ego tries to tell me. Straightening my spine tall in front of those lies definitely requires some grit. I have found that challenging life experiences that don’t kill us are the best to cultivate such grit 🙂

As painful as it can be, the human journey is beautiful. We do our best to cultivate ourselves each day and suddenly we find our flower is blossoming.

We humans are the multi-colored flowers of this tree of life on Earth. Let’s share our fragrance far and wide.