When I was born, I didn’t have a name.  I didn’t have any parents so I laid in a crib for 10 days with a tag that read “Baby Girl Mulgrew.”

Kate, who had given me up for adoption, held a name for me in her own heart.  “Phoebe Columba Mulgrew”.   She later introduced me with that name to her sons, when they were young boys, who then began to dream of their sister Phoebe who was out there somewhere, who they hoped to meet someday.  It kind of feels to me like Phoebe became a spirit of her own and lived a life of her own, in a sense, before I came a long to take her place. I even had a dear friend once who I felt a strong Soul connection with tell me that since the time he was young he felt he would meet someone named Phoebe and she would be a very important person to him.  He went on to tell me that I looked and acted just like her, in fact he was certain that I was her.  However, that friend later made some choices and actions that caused us to go in separate directions and our friendship to come to an end.  I also kind of feel that the spirit of Pheobe Columba Mulgrew went with him.

My parents gave me the name of “Danielle Marie Gaudette”.  My father chose it.  Since his parents were French and French Canadian, I suppose he wanted me to have a French name :). I like this name because I love it’s meaning.  It is of course the female derivative of the name Daniel, whose meaning comes from the Biblical story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den.  Do know this story?

From what I understand, Daniel, a Jew, was an adored assistant to the king. He was a sincere, gentle and pure-hearted man of faith who prayed ardently and often to his God.  One day, due to unrest among his people and manipulative plotting by another one of the king’s men who was jealous of the king’s love for Daniel, the king suddenly declared that Jews were no longer allowed to pray and anyone caught doing so would be sentenced to death.  Daniel, though loyal, could not let this law come between him and his truest loyalty, his greatest love, which was his loyalty and love to God. So, he continued to pray as usual.  When caught, the angry king gave word to have him thrown into an enclosed den with three lions.  However, hours later the king came rushing back, shouting that he had made a terrible mistake and that the guards were to open the doors immediately. When doing so, they were awe-struck to find Daniel standing there peacefully in the center of the den, his arms raised to Heaven in prayer with the three lions lying quietly by his feet.  They removed him at once from the den. The king, realizing how special Daniel was, then had the other jealous man who had manipulated him thrown into the den.  He was torn apart by the lions in seconds.

Therefore, the name Danielle means ‘Judged Only By God,’ just as Daniel’s fate was determined by God alone. And this resonates so true to my heart.  I have had so many hardships in this lifetime and have been handed so many lemons.  I have been so often unable to deliver my heart as I truly wanted and have been misunderstood and even sometimes mistreated by others.  However despite that, I have always felt that the loving light of God has been with me – shining brightly in my heart as the Light of my Soul – guiding me through every situation and each one of life’s turns.  I too feel that I can be judged only by the Great Eye and Mind of the Cosmos, who is taking care of me according to my heart’s deepest intention.

Two summer’s ago I received a new name, a spiritual name, from my teacher.  That name is “Johwatong” . The meaning that came with this name is more like a mission, a purpose, and it goes like this:

Create harmony and connect with everyone.  Live inside of energy and share energy.  Heal the world through healing yourself and those who are around you.

So now I have some students and fellow instructors who call me by this name.  Whenever they do, it reminds me of a bigger role and a bigger me.  It expands me and makes my heart light up.  I can feel my potential stirring inside.

Once I heard my teacher say that, “The biggest obstacle to your Enlightenment is your first, middle and last name.”  He didn’t say it directly to me but to a room full of people at a conference in Sedona.  As I live my life and do my practice, I feel this to be so true.  It is my attachment to the self that I have built around my name – the identity that I have falsely come to believe is my true identity – that blocks me from meeting with who I really am, living as that Love in the world, and creating my life from that place.

All of my names have become a great meditation and reflection for me.  But I know deep down that the real me exists far beyond any of them.  The real me is nameless and wordless. Infinite.

Fortunately, I got to spend this Mother’s Day with my father & my sister.

It’s been one year and 5 months since my mother passed away and I think I have to agree with my sister that Mother’s Day has become my least favorite day of the year.

While other’s are posting pictures of their mom’s on facebook and making plans to buy them flowers and fancy dinners, we are just reminded that we can’t give our mom the hug that we so desperately wish that we could. We can’t make that phone call and hear that voice that we so much want to hear.

So, it was wonderful timing that dad & Renee came to visit me in Seattle this weekend.  I’m so grateful to be able to spend so much time with them.  I love them so much.

We explored Pike’s Place Market, hung out at Deception Pass – a scary but magnificently beautiful bridge on the way to Whidbey Island, and tried out many coffee shops, restaurants and cafes in the area.  We also made sure to enjoy the sunshine, crisp air, fresh pines, and pure waters of Seattle.

All of my life, my mother was really the center of the family, and we were like the 3 moons orbiting around her majesty, Bev 🙂  But now that she’s not here anymore, we moons are learning more about each other – how to listen, how to love, how to care, how to yield, how to support…..how to let go and hold on…and how to just live well.  I think that we are doing a really good job and I know that my mother, wherever she may be, would be so happy to know that we made this trip happen.

All my gratitude for my lovely family ~ you are so precious to me*

Mago.

This is a Korean word.  Ma, the universal word for mother.  Go, meaning ancient.

Mago.

Also know as Gaia, Mother Nature, Mother Mago, or Mago Gaia.

She is the mother of us all.

Can you feel her love?

I often feel like the wind is kissing me, the trees are definitely listening to me,  the moon is keeping me company, and the mountain is loving me with it’s vast embrace.  I once even leaned in close to a flower to examine her beauty and heard her sing “I’m Alive!”.

When I graduated from the University of Iowa, my father picked me up and drove me back to Boston.  As we drove East I felt a deep sadness growing in my heart.   These highways used to be forests.  This land used to be home for Native people. What are we doing?  What are we doing….”

I know that I’m way too oversensitive and of course the human race had to build it’s civilization, but the pain of knowing the tragic devastation that we have caused to this magnificent land and her brilliant creatures has long been far too much for me to bear.  So much so that I have often avoided it – trying to just busy my mind with the dramas of life so that I won’t have to feel the poison in her air, water and soil, won’t have to hear her heavy breathing, or listen to the wailing of her heart as she watches her children destroying each other and themselves.  I am so not proud of myself for this.  As her daughter, I want to do more.  I want to wake up.

In the summer of 2001 I went to Seoul, South Korea to attend The Declaration of Humanity Conference, hosted by the New Millenium Peace Foundation.  In all honesty, that was quite a difficult trip for me.  As soon as I landed I was jet lagged, the food was not agreeing with me, and I literally just dragged myself through the tour that I was on leading up to the conference.  I felt as if all seven of my chakras were completely blocked and I was in a lot of pain.  On the day that the conference was finally beginning I woke up early in the morning, shot upright in my bed by a loud, thunderous voice in my head that said “Today you will find out why you came here.” Oh God, thank you. 

When I got up, my stomach ache, headache and body ache had disappeared.

We gathered into a large enclosed arena with 12,000 people.  Although I was physically feeling better, I was still in duress.  It was noisy and chaotic as we were ushered to our seats.  The stage was far and the people on it were tiny. Once the event started, I couldn’t undertand anything that anyone was saying because the translator on my head set kept cutting in and out and there was loud static. Right before the declaration began candles were passed out to the 12,000 attendees.  I still couldn’t understand anything that was being said through my ear phones and I was fumbling with the lighter in a panic because I couldn’t get it to light my candle and I was certain that I was about to miss the whole thing.  I frantically turned to the person next to me and asked him to help me and when finally my candle was lit I looked up and suddenly I was breathless.  Everything changed in that moment.

12,000 lights in a dark stadium.  It was like nothing I had ever seen.  My heart lept. I felt as if I was no longer among foreign people, but suddenly I was simply among 12,000 Souls who had come to this Earth with the same mission and dream.  12,000 Souls who came to bring light back to humanity.  It was the purest feeling of oneness I had ever experienced.  Everything was silent, and there was only this feeling.  I don’t know if I had taken the head set off or tuned it out but there was no more noise, just a deep stillness.  It was like the hush of a collective Soul.  I looked up and noticed a banner hanging that I hadn’t seen before.  It was the Earth herself, with a soft blue aura.  There she was, floating lovingly in the dark space. And suddenly I felt that all of us were stars, we were stars in the sky surrounding her.  Ah, this is where I came from.  I was seeing her through the eyes of my Soul.  My Soul was looking down upon her among a ring of souls and we were all crying “Mom! Mom! we will help you! We will save you!”

I was never very good at praying before that moment, but it felt as if a prayer came over me.  I literally felt waves of energy rushing over my head.  This energy was filled with deep sincerity, longing, gratitude, promise and love. My Mother Mago, I will help you. I will help you. Once the declaration was finished the lights came on and there was a great, joyous explosion throughout the stadium.  12,000 Souls were laughing and crying and hugging each other.  Sparkling confetti was falling from the ceiling and giant beach balls painted as the Earth were being bounced around the room.  I felt like the Earth herself was celebrating and rejoicing with us.  It was truly amazing.

It was from that moment that I really realized that the only hope for this Earth lies in the consciousness of the people.  We must awaken the pure Souls inside of us, raise up our consciousness and truly bring our hearts together as One, and then everything will change.  In that kind of vibration, we cannot hurt ourselves, we cannot hurt each other and we cannot hurt the Earth anymore.  It’s not possible.  This is my hope.   It is a hope that lives deep in my heart – a hope that I am reminded of whenever I lead trainings and meet new Souls who are waking themselves up.  This is my hope, my dream, my desperate wish, my earnest prayer.

That’s why, the thing that I am most passionate about of late is the Earth Citizen Organization and the Earth Citizen Movement.  It is a movement to raise consciousness, to gather together the hearts of 100 million people, to awaken us all to the Oneness of who we are, for the sake of our beautiful and bountiful Earth.  It is time to become One Light For Mago.  That is our only hope.

Critical mass is the key.  When enough people join together, there will be a change.  In the documentary “The Eleventh Hour,” scientists, authors, researchers and professors encourage us to gather together in communities and work together with love and trust for that which makes our hearts sing.  This is the beginning of the solution to the problem.  And endless solutions will be created by our amazing brains as we go together for a great cause.

If you who are reading this have any interest in being a part of the Earth Citizen Movement, please visit www.earthcitizens.org.  You can click over to the 3rd screen and become an Earth Citizen yourself 🙂

All of you are my dream.  I hope that we can go together and build a beautiful world together.  It’s not that far from our reach.  I myself do not have children but I want to create that world for your children and their children.  And I want to create it for my fellow humanity, for all of life that is pure and innocent and deserves love and hope.  And I want to create it for my Mother, Mago.  Mago, who loves me endlessly and unconditionally.  Our one and only precious planet.  She needs us. We need us.

DECLARATION OF HUMANITY

1. I declare that I am a Spiritual Being, an essential and eternal part of the Soul of Humanity, one and indivisible.
2. I declare that I am a Human Being whose rights and security ultimately depend on assuring the human rights of all people of Earth.
3. I declare that I am a Child of the Earth, with the will and awareness to work for goals that benefit the entire community of life on Earth.
4. I declare that I am a Healer, with the power and purpose to heal the many forms of divisions and conflicts that exist on Earth.
5. I declare that I am a Protector, with the knowledge and the responsibility to help the Earth recover her natural harmony and beauty.

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You can learn more about Mago herself in Rebecca Tinkle’ book “The Secret of Mago Castle.” Rebecca was one of my students in Colorado and she is my great friend.  A beautiful Soul, she has worked together with Ilchi Lee to weave the ancient tale of Mago, and Mago’s significance in our modern world.

I just returned from Mago Garden, located in a valley of red rock in Sedona, Arizona.

I consider this place to be the earthly home of my Soul.

In 2001 I did an intensive six month Healer School course where I went back and forth to Mago Garden three or four times.  Each time more powerful and healing than the next.  One very memorable experience  during this time was when we practiced “water healing.”  The goal was to hold up a glass of water in front of our eyes, about shoulder height, and keep holding it for one hour.  We were directed to choose a person in our minds for whom we were making this healing water and we were to pray for them for the entire hour.  As soon as the Master Trainer said “Now choose your person” I knew instantly that it was my mother.  I knew it as if I had always known it, as though there were no-one on the planet who I wanted to heal more than her.  At that moment I realized that I had spent an entire lifetime wanting to heal my mother from her emotional agony, and it had led me to that very moment where I was sitting,  becoming a healer.  Warm and soft tears streamed down my cheeks as my brain literally changed.  It was if a thought process re-routed itself in my synapses.  That thought process which had previously said “My mother is mentally ill –> so I feel sad –> so my life is difficult,” had at that moment transformed into “My mother is mentally ill –> so I always wanted to help her –> and because of this I could wake up the healer inside of me and live for creating a better world –> I am so grateful.”  It was a profoundly beautiful and healing shift.  One which changed my mind completely from there on out.

Another time I stayed up late to walk under the stars.  It was a cold night and the sky was so clear.  I decided to stop in a spot looking out at Secret Mountain.  I stood there in the cold, bouncing my knees up and down, doing vibration exercise.  On that particular night, this was my way of praying to the Heaven and Earth.  I just kept bouncing and looking out at the mountain and suddenly it was as if I disappeared.  “Oh!” I thought “I am not me, I am the mountain itself!” but as I kept bouncing my feeling changed and I thought again,”No, I’m just the space in between.”  It was an amazing moment to feel myself as this vast pure space, knowing that this is what I really am –  pure cosmic energy.

Healer School was such a beautiful time of transformation. When the six month program was over, as I drove slowly down the very long, very bumpy and windy Bill Gray Road, I felt as if Mago Garden were my womb and I was travelling down the birth canal, being born as a healer into the world.

Since then, I have visited Mago Garden often – usually several times a year if I can.  Whenever I return there, I am refreshed and renewed, returning to my womb to be fed and nurtured again with the amazing healing energy that this stunning land provides.

Even better than that, I am able to now return as a trainer myself, which gives me the opportunity to share my love and put into action all of the many awakenings I have discovered along the way of my path.

This weekend was a wonderful opportunity to gather together with 30 like-minded Souls who touched my heart very deeply.  This group was the HEROES – people from the ages of 20- 40 years old who want to grow and develop themselves and contribute to the raising of Earth’s consciousness. We danced, we sang, we laughed and cried, we squeezed and stretched and breathed and jogged around in the desert rain – discovering ourselves through becoming One with myself, One with my partner, One with the Earth and One with the entire Universe.  It was truly a happy time for me.

I hope to write more about Sedona, since it has been such an important and influential part of my journey.  For now I’ll finish here with Ilchi Lee’s poem from “The Call of Sedona”:

Sedona Message

Whatever the path that brought you here

There is a reason why you came,

Though you may not realize it now.

Therefore, please open your ears.

Listen to the message that Sedona has for you.

The old juniper standing tall in the golden sunset

just might tell you the reason.

Whatever fork in the road of life you stand at now

There is a question in your heart,

Though you may not realize it now.

Therefore, please open your ears.

Listen to the message that Sedona has for you.

The red rock that resembles the face of a Native American

just might help you remember that question.

Whatever the question growing in your heart

You can find the answer to that question within yourself,

Though you may not realize it now.

So, please open your ears.

Listen to the message that Sedona has for you.

The rushing water of Oak Creek, shimmering under a full moon,

just might give you the answer.

When the long howl of a coyote weaves its way

through a night sky brimming with stars

When the afternoon monsoon shakes Thunder Mountain with thunder and lightning

There is a message from Sedona that calls to you with a roar far greater.

There is a world all living creatures have dreamed of together ever since the earth came to be.

There is a world dreamed of by Mago, Mother Earth,

and human beings, the heavens and the earth, the mountains and the sea.

The old juniper tree, the red rocks, and the rushing water of Oak Creek share a dream.

Oh, friend who has come to Sedona, take this dream with you.

This dream is the reason why you have come to this place,

and it just might be your question

and your answer.

This dream just might awaken the greatest things

within you.

A new heaven, a new earth, a new people, and a new life path,

A world of peace in which all life is harmonious

in a sacred heaven and an abundant earth.

Though you may not realize it now,

you are a being that has come to the earth

to turn this dream into a reality.

Sedona Mago Garden