Letting Go

Life is transient.  Everything will come and go.  Love comes and goes and comes again.  Friends who I loved from the bottom of my heart have since left my life.  Lovers.  My mother’s touch.  Her hands.  The smell of her wet soapy skin after she washed off her make-up when I kissed her good night.

Clouds.  The clouds in the Seattle sky, layered gray and white with windows of blue. Strips of golden light peering through.  They come and go as I lie on this park bench.  I want to be like the clouds.  Letting go, letting go.  I want to be like the light rain that kisses my cheeks, like the wind that heals me, like the calm water of Lake Washington that keeps moving. Keeps moving.  They teach me how to let go.   How to Be.

But sometimes, I am like a rock.  My inner teenager grips tight.  She’s MAD. Furious.  At the injustice of it all.  She would like to just sabotage everything.  I look upon her with compassion and love.  I let her do her thing.  She can rip every strand of grass from the ground if she needs to.  I’m not afraid anymore.

There is only one truth.  We are One.  The bright sun rising comforts my heart.  All is well.  Keep flowing, keep flowing.  Life is Transient.  There is only Love.  Only Love to Be.  Even my inner teenager begins to understand it.  With her hands and knees covered in mud – a lifetime of frustration.  It’s gone in an instant when we become Love Itself.

I feel so much gratitude for this magnificent, transient Life.  I will flow with you.  Like the water & the wind.  Thank you for your Grace.

 

 

8 Thoughts.

  1. What a beautiful reflection. Even though we all know that all is impermanent I think even in our adult state we want permanence. We seek security. But I have come to learn that nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting. And as I age, death is a constant awareness.It is just the way it is. There is no choice. But where I have a choice is whether I choose for impermanence to be a source of anxiety or a source of freedom. Still working on this one of course. Charlene

    • That’s right Charlene. Also, if we completely surrender to the impermanence, we can find something else beginning to emerge…something eternal. You can call it whatever you like, but it is there. Like Presence Itself. Life Itself. This is why the realization that “Life is truly transient” is one of life’s Enlightenments. The more you embrace it, the more enlightened you will be 🙂

  2. It can be hard for one to let go of things, whether it be of old habits or whatever. I find myself feeling like your inner teenager, Danielle. As Charlene said, though, death is a constant awareness, but not for the reason you might think. For example, a friend I have known a long time but haven’t seen in years passed away this morning and so it is a huge blow to the disabled community and also a stark reminder of the reality in said community. How does one truly let go? How do I let go of the feeling of being judged? As I said in my email to you, all I want is to be loved, and to be seen as good, to be shown that I am. But I have trouble letting go of the feeling of being judged by others.

    • I agree that it is difficult,Taya. I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. In regards to your feeling judged, my advice would be to keep taking ownership of that feeling – that feeling comes out of me, it is not necessarily the current reality. Therefore I have a choice to follow the old story or to choose to feel the Life inside of me, which is unjudgeable (I think I might have made up that last word but it works here :))

      • It was quite sudden. As for my feelings, how is taking ownership of it letting go of it? By feeling judged, I feel like I am bad and as I’ve said in past, I don’t want to bring down the thread. I guess I want to find my place in the world and where I belong, and with whom because I wish to know that I am good and doing something right. Is surrendering to impermanence a form of letting things go?

        • When you own it then you can recognize your choice to hold it or let it flow. And yes, from the angle of impermanence then you can see that even the feeling of being judged comes and goes. So, there is not as much of a need to react to it. These are dense and difficult topics and it all just takes time and practice.

  3. Taya….I believe that what you most desire in fact already exists. You are of worth, you are loved, you are accepted. . You are on the road to opening your heart to this reality in your soul and the awareness lives deep within you. It is awaiting your arrival. Keep a treking.
    Charlene

  4. Dear Danielle, Charlene, Taya and Robin,
    Letting go is a process. And because we have to be nice to ourselves, to our soul, we have to take little steps. There is no answer how to let go, but by choosing our own path of life, by choosing to follow our own heart.. We can gradually let go.
    Because we learn what is good and calming in our life. What gives us the feeling of safety. Safety in our own refuge.
    Taya, you HAVE your place in the world, and it’s your own choice where that is, where it’s safe for you. You ARE good!
    The only reason some people judge, is because it’s easier to judge someone than actually change yourself. It’s their own insecurity, don’t forget that!! Please DON’T judge yourself.
    Charlene’s words are SO true. You ARE already on the road to opening your heart, your soul and the awareness deep within you. Be confident and be proud of yourself!

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