I recently had a trip to New York.
It was a special occasion because I had the opportunity to see my teacher, Ilchi Lee, in the beautiful setting of the Catskill Mountains at Honor’s Haven Resort in Ellensville, NY.
I hadn’t seen him for about 2 years, and I was very much longing to see him during his visit to the U.S. this time. He comes a couple times a year and the last few times he was here I didn’t have the chance to attend any of his lectures or training sessions. I prayed for the opportunity to arise and at the very last moment it came unexpectedly ~ it was truly a gift and a blessing for me!
During the meeting I felt connected with the great Light of Life, had a wonderful time exploring the forest and taking in the holy energy of the land, and felt a deep deep stirring in my heart. My heart was literally trembling for two days…what was that feeling?
It was a longing from deep within my Soul that is always there, I just cannot always feel it. A longing for a Truth beyond the “reality” that this material civilization presents to us. A Truth that I have met with in my heart and always yearn for it to infiltrate every corner of my life and ultimately the world we live in.
It was a hope for the bright potential of all of humanity and for a future where our consciousness is centered on the health, happiness and peace of the Earth and all of her living creatures.
It was a desperate wish that I myself can be my best self and contribute to the creation of this beautiful Earth that I dream of.
Yes, seeing my Seu-Seung Nim brought much healing, purification and rejuvenation to my Spirit!
From Honor’s Haven I got a ride to Manhattan where I went to visit Kate, my birth mother.
I have a love/hate relationship with Manhattan. This is the city where I was born and given away. It is also a city where I have loved and lost love. Pulsing with the vibrant energy of human beings, the colors of cultures, the cab rides, the Ubers, the streets filled with shouts and honks and so many languages, so many dreams, so many stories….This epitome of material civilization is like my second home. Sometimes I feel as if I have lived a parallel life here in an alternate universe, if that makes any sense at all. It’s romantic and exciting, complicated and eery – this feeling that I have whenever I am in Manhattan.
Also, seeing Kate is always an adventure in and of itself. First of all, her personality is so different than mine so it is a whirlwind of conversation and drama ~ sometimes very entertaining, sometimes very heart- warming, and other times quite painful.
On this particular trip I was reminded that our first relationship with each other in this lifetime was a difficult one, filled with hurt and confusion, guilt and denial. And unfortunately it just makes sense that this continues to play itself out in our current relationship in strange and sometimes subtle (sometimes not-so-subtle) ways. This is just a fact that needs to be dealt with. The more I face this fact and accept it, the less I suffer.
Again, I was thankful for all of the inner work that I have done that has helped me to identify what’s happening and process the storm of emotions that sometimes take flight inside of me when I am in her presence. I thought about my sister, who does not know her birth mother, and how much I wanted to tell her “You know, knowing your birth mother is not all that easy.” In fact, I think to cultivate that relationship we have to be quite strong, so for some it may not be the work their Souls what to do in this lifetime.
Anyway, nevertheless I was happy to have the time to spend with Kate and the happiest moment for me was that I was able to arrange a time for her to meet one of my beloved students, Jesse, who is a die-hard Captain Janeway fan. It was SO JOYFUL for me to give him the opportunity to finally meet with this person who he watches on the television screen, sometimes episode after episode. I am infinitely thankful to Kate for opening herself to him and giving him a boost of energy & encouragement. I felt that we all have our special roles to play in the making of a better world – one beautiful person at a time.
So at the end of this dynamic trip I was reminded again that everything is choice. And I choose Love.
I love you Danielle. I love you Kate. I love you Manhattan. I love you Jesse. I love you my Seu-Seung Nim. I love you Life.
And, I love you my life; my journey, my story, my struggles, my memories my perseverance, my heartache, my possibility, my path, my truth, my hope, my dream, my road ahead. I love all of you.