Opening It Up

Dear Readers,

I noticed that my last post which had a small blurb about Kate in it brought a spike in my viewership.

That made me chuckle, but it also made me want to open up my blog to any of you who might have questions for me.  I am happy to speak to anything regarding Kate, being adopted, or anything on the topic of body, mind & spirit, healing or making the world a better place.

Have I said this before?  I can’t remember.  It came to mind again so I thought I would put it out there.

Of course, I can just keep talking about myself here from time to time, but I am happy to talk with others too 🙂

If I were more internet savvy I’d probably post all kinds of videos and have some sort of ongoing talk show or class or some place where we could all converse on the topics of healing that touch our hearts and Souls.

I think the time of humanity has really come where we need to communicate more and build bridges between us as to feel the interconnected web that we all exist within.  We can co-create a brighter planet this way.

My teacher always says we are really just living in a small Earth Village.

I will finish here with a beautiful and relevant excerpt from Ilchi Lee’s Calligraphic Meditation book.


Indras’ Net

Nothing in this world exists in isolation.  All life on the planet is connected through heaven, earth, and the empty space in between. From this knowledge emerges a heart of hongik, which seeks the good of all life.

Raise your right hand and look at your fingers. At first you’ll see only your hand. Gradually move your eyes to your arm, shoulder, trunk, and entire body. Feel your body, which connects your limbs as one.

Now expand your field of vision to feel the empty space surrounding your body. Taking it further, try to feel the people, buildings, and nature around you in the same space.

The stars in the sky seem to be separated from each other, but they’re connected as one through the void.

The maple and fig trees in my yard are far enough from each other that the small leaves of one don’t even brush against big leaves of the other, but deep underground their roots are touching the same streams of water.

There is a very beautiful metaphor in the Hwaeom [Huayan] school of Buddhism.  It is said that an endlessly wide, infinite, and transparent net, Indra’s Net, is spread out in the palace Jeseokchun, the land of the Buddha. Hanging from each knot of this net is a transparent jewel, and these jewels reflect clearly everything in the universe. Each jewel also reflects all the other jewels, so that a wave arising in any one spreads to all the others, and a sound coming from just one reverberates among all the jewels hanging from the net.

In a world of beings interconnected like Indra’s Net, there is nothing unrelated to me. Each life is different from all others in all sorts of ways, but, in their essence, they are all interconnected.

In their source, all are one.  People create differences from that one. And they end up  confronting each other because of those differences.  Since you and I are different, since you are not on my side, goes the insane logic they create, it’s OK for me to harm you.

From knowing that all are one comes a heart of love for all.

15 Thoughts.

  1. Danielle Nim,
    Of course you are free to talk about whatever you wish, be it Kate, or adoption or whatever. I’m very picky on what I choose to comment on, only commenting on things that I can relate to. It would be nice to talk about any topic. If you really do want to, you can make videos and put them up on Youtube or something for us to watch and comment on. Perhaps it’s time for you to have your own Youtube channel. I love being able to get to know you and talk with you as both mentor and friend. 🙂

  2. You know, I do believe that all life is connected and I also believe that science supports this. The reason I believe this is because of how water behaves, which probably sounds strange but there is a great deal of research being done on this.

    One area of research on this is emotions and water. When we speak to water or think think strongly of an emotional near water or if a room full of people is feeling a certain emotion, like anger or love, it affects the water. It changes the water at the molecular level and even affects what the water looks like when it is frozen. (

    The other area of research is water and memories. Apparently, water picks up information from each thing or person that touches it and forms unique water drop patterns, as seen when examined under a microscope. (

    Anyway, this has fascinated me for a long time. If our emotions affect water and if just touching water leaves information behind, and since all life depends on water in one way or another, then unconsciously we must be communicating with each other.

    Through my dad’s side of the family (but not my mom’s, oddly enough) we all have a strong empathic connection to one another. My birth daughter inherited this, and the two of us often feel each other’s pain and emotional upsets. (Makes “that time of the month” awfully fun.) This has actually been a parenting blessing because I know that if anything bad happened to her, I would feel it. It makes me worry less about her.

    When my adopted kids discovered this, they were very concerned at first. It happened that one day when I was in the middle of a conversation with them that I suddenly felt that my oldest was *very* upset, and so I abruptly left the kids mid-conversation to go see what was wrong with my daughter and found her sobbing in her room. Naturally, the kids wanted to know how I knew. But more concerning to them was if I could only feel my oldest because she’s biologically mine or if I could feel them, too.

    The truth is, I feel my oldest the most strongly because there does seem to be a biological connection. But I feel my four adopted children, too. It’s not as strong, but I definitely have an awareness of them.

    Less strong than that is sensing people around me. Large crowds drain me, but only in indoor settings. In outdoor settings I feel fine, I think because there is nature around me – open sky and earth and green growing things, things that make me feel peaceful inside. I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation for that, and some day I hope to discover what it is.

    • Wow Kathy it sounds like you are very very sensitive. That’s why you are getting drained in large crowds. It’s like sensory overload. And that’s why you can recover yourself in nature again – because you can align with the natural and harmonious vibration more easily there, that comforts the senses and makes them feel “right”.

      I think that with your gift you must be an amazing healer 🙂 Try to use it well and recharge often!

      And I understand your sharing about your children ~ I too had a very strong empathetic connection to my mother who adopted me. Interestingly I don’t feel the same one with my birth mother. Perhaps the bond is formed from the time when we are babies. Although, I also believe that I had a strong karmic relationship with my mother who raised me as well. She got me when I was 10 days old so we had really been together from the beginning. But I didn’t meet my birth mother until I was 21 – perhaps that is the difference.

  3. Dear Danielle,

    I have been searching for an answer to the question what it is that leads me (and others) to admire people. What am I searching for when I imagine myself making contact with someone I admire.
    I think we project a higher self esteem, a strength onto the person we admire. We tend to think they are more or better than us. That they have what we lack.
    For me that would be a high self esteem, a strong and persistent personality.

    After reading your post about your relationship with Kate, it dawned on me that we all deal with the insecurities, with the expectations we have of others and vise versa.
    That we all deal with the heart wrenching fact that we search for what we don’t have. And tend to forget what we do have and what that means to us.
    We all search for love and acknowledgement, we all want to be heard, to be seen and to be known.

    Sometimes we need a little spark of someone else, to find our own sparkle.

    But to be honest, it would feel quite strange to ask you questions about Kate. Because this is your blog, about your thoughts, emotions and learning moments. I would be disregarding you. And you don’t deserve to be disregarded.

    So on with the search for ourselves and a better world!

    (bit of a Trekkie)

    • Haha ~ thank you for your response Yvonne 🙂
      I truly appreciate those of you who come here to explore yourselves with me.
      But, I was just “opening it up”.
      Anyway, to respond – we must love ourselves first and look inside deeply. Admiration is good if we can see it as a mirror reflection of myself. We attract to what we have inside, even though we might feel we lack it.

      You can always add “Just like me” onto all of your thoughts. “Oh, she’s so strong….just like me!” “He’s such a beautiful person…just like me!”. When you do that, then you are really getting down to the truth of the matter.

      So, always bring the focus back to you! Enjoy loving you!

  4. That would actually make a *lot* of sense, because I have, obviously, had my birth daughter since birth, but my other four came to me when they were ages 6, 5, 4, and 23 months. Even the youngest one – she had connection issues for a long time after she came. She wouldn’t even cling to me when I held her; she was just limp. When she was about 3-years-old – that was when I was finally able to get through to her: “Listen, when I pick you up, you need to wrap your arms and legs around me.” And the boys, because we fostered them for three years before adopting them, saw their birth mother once a week for an hour or two – social services was trying to keep the kids bonded to her – and so they maintained their attachment to her rather than to me. So, I think you actually may be on to something…

    Onto another subject, I’ve worked in the natural healing field in the past (I’m just a stay-at-home-mom now). I was apprenticed to a curandera (Mexican Indian healer) for about three years, so I am quite familiar with native medicine. The curandera I worked with – she tag-teamed all her patients with an Indian medical doctor, who healed with both Western medicine and with Ayurvedic medicine, so I learned a little of that, too. (The principles, really, more than actual techniques or spiritual beliefs.) But the kinds of healing you work with are very new and unfamiliar to me, so reading through your blog I keep encountering phrases and words and ideas that I am unfamiliar with, and I keep doing research to learn more and it’s really fascinating. I can see how the tenants of it fit in with other forms of ancient healing.

  5. Chere Danielle,
    I read your latest post with interest. I completely agree with everything Yvonne has eloquently written. I too have been reflecting over the relationship between teacher and student in Eastern cultures (eg. my relationship to my tai chi teacher who is from China). I agree that the admiration can be a projection onto another person of the qualities that we aspire to ourselves. My teacher told me this week that she never gives me a compliment or positive reinforcement as she does not want my goal to be seeking her affirmation or approval but rather the goal is learning the art of tai chi and improving for it’s own sake. This is the Chinese model. It is so different than the Western approach. I encourage you Daneille to be the finger pointing to the moon. To be the one shining light on the path that leads to the Ultimate truth inside each student.
    I am puzzled about you answering questions about Kate. I would never ask you a question about her because I would feel like I was using you to gain information about her. It doesn’t seem right to put you in this position.
    I love the idea of sharing ideas, having a forum for discussion. I don’t think it is difficult to create a utube channel if you have a google account. or there might be an article or reading you or someone else might like to share. I so appreciate your transparency and honesty and try to be the same.
    Ever fondly, Charlene

    • Thanks Charlene ~ I think I could put your two responses together and understand what you are saying 🙂
      I just want to emphasize that when I say the viewership went up I don’t mean among my beloved Charlene, Taya & Yvonne (and maybe Robin too who might be out there being quiet :))
      There was a spike in other viewership so I was more saying “If you’re here because you’re curious or interested in some piece of this whole picture, feel free to ask!”
      Yes I believe in transparency. To the best of my ability I will try to open my heart 🙂
      Who knows I might get all savvy and surprise you guys with a video!! Let’s see ~~~ Love~!

  6. Oops sorry two typo omissions. Left out. : to keep being the finger…and to continue being the light…You are getting a lot of response to opening up….energy around it

  7. This is why I only say one thing on the subject then move onto something else. Adoption can be a very tricky thing to discuss no matter what situation the adoptee was put in and no matter what intense feelings the adoptee may have. I get uncomfortable sharing because I don’t want to bring the blog thread down as a result of depression or anxiety. This is Danielle’s blog for her to share about herself or whatever she wishes to discuss freely. I may break free from the regressive state but there are times when something may be triggering enough to send me right back into that state.

    • I know that it’s a tricky and delicate subject. I totally get it. I trust you to manage yourself in all ways Taya – what you do and don’t need to share etc. I think you keep a good balance. I appreciate and respect your own journey and am so glad for the healing work that you are doing for yourself. Love*

      • I don’t comment on everything because some of it I don’t know what to say. It was you who has helped me break free of the last regression period. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I am beyond grateful to have you has a friend and mentor. I know that if something does happen to cause me to regress again, I have you and the others here. I love you guys. Saranghaeyo. <3

  8. Charlene, thank you for your kind words. As you maybe know, I’m not thr kind of person who thinks of herself as communicating eloquently (not in Dutch, my mothertongue, and defenitely not in (written) English). So thank you for the aknowledgement, I need that..
    It’s exactly this what keeps me coming back to this blog. It gives me comfort, reassurement and helps me focus towards positivity. To focus on the strenghts in me.
    Danielle, I want to deeply thank you for your explanation of “the mirror of admiration”. That we attract to what is inside us. I know, I should trust what’s inside and give it a chance to come out. But (as so many things, it scares the … out of me. Because it all begins with love for oneself, and that’s a very, very tough lesson to learn.
    Coming here, reading your blog and all the comments, that points me in the right direction. And gives me reassuring confidence that I’m on the right track.
    Love to all, have confidence in your abilities!

    • Love back to you Yvonne! I’m so glad this has become a reassuring space for you ~ I know how hard you have been working on your path to self-healing and self-love. You’re doing great! We are cheering you on :))

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