My Soul

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the Finding True Self workshop here in Seattle. Usually I am the trainer for this program, but this time I took the role as a staff and was able to experience some parts of the training as well.

I have been leading this workshop since 2006 – almost every month or every few months.  It’s always a beautiful and miraculous process for the attendees, as well as for the staff and trainer too.

Yesterday I got a chance to close my eyes and feel my Soul again speaking to me so loudly.  Of course I am living my life for the growth of my Soul, but from time to time I get to really sink in deep and have an experience that is beyond my day to day living.

It was so beautiful.  My Soul simply said, “Be with me.”  I could feel my deep longing to be connected to my Soul and stay connected always, and how much my Soul wants to be with me too.  It’s like having a love affair with myself!  At that moment I could not think of anything I wanted more than my Soul or any place I’d rather be more than in the soft, loving cocoon of my pure Soul.

The experience rejuvenated me and filled me with gratitude.  I feel so thankful for my path and all of the choices that I have made.

At the end of the day the trainer talked about a Korean term “Jung Sung.”  He said this is hard to translate into English but the best way would be if you combined the words Consistency + Humbleness +  Never Give Up.  I felt so moved by that message.  “Jung Sung” – like a sincere devotion to go to the very end for the promise and commitment we make to ourselves.

It’s so easy to break our own promises with ourselves.  No one is watching.  It is only the silent eye and mind of the cosmos that is watching the promises we make to ourselves -the ones that no one really knows about, or that others don’t even understand or agree with.  It takes such strength of character to keep committed to those promises.

As we keep our promises to ourselves, our Souls grow.  We need to keep that inner conversation going and we need to stay on track with our promises and commitments to ourselves that we make deep inside.

We need to check ourselves from time to time to see if we have drifted away from ourselves and how far we have gone, then quickly return again.

Let’s not miss the opportunity to encounter the amazing treasure that lives in all of our hearts.

Thank you, my Soul.

 

Happiness

A student sent me the cutest little picture the other day and I want to share it with you.

happiness pic

To me, it perfectly embodies the most important principle of life:  That I am a creator of my own life!  Therefore, I am a chooser and creator of my own happiness, despite my circumstances.

Remember the Tibetan monk who was unjustly imprisoned for over 20 years?  Upon his release he was asked how he felt in there all of that time, to which he answered,

“I felt that I was in danger of becoming angry.”

He knew this simple truth!  I am the creator of my own happiness. And it is this truth that provides us with great freedom and great hope, and at the same time causes great agony.  Because it is sometimes so painful to look at oneself so honestly and realize that I, myself, am the one choosing to be unhappy.  It can be so difficult to really face the fact that I do have the power inside to create my moment however I want it to be, but I am habitually programmed to react to my circumstances negatively or with drama.

We all have to stop once in a while and take a good honest look at what we are doing.  Not to beat ourselves up or blame ourselves in anyway – no!  This is human nature and we need to accept ourselves and love ourselves for everything we have and all that we have experienced.  However, there is one more step after that and it is to make a new choice and a new action and to create a new a beautiful life accordingly.

I find this a truly joyful process.  It is a process that is not without suffering, but the unraveling and transformation of self is joyful.  When we look at ourselves with a bigger mind and perspective,  we can see with new eyes.

One of my most favorite mentors always reminded me that everything is a process.  He spoke of a Korean phrase “Dae Ki Mahn Sung”.  I have heard several different translations of the phrase but the one that was so simple and clear to me was this:

A container that is big and wide takes a long time to fill up and overflow.  We are living our daily lives and doing our inner work with diligence, but sometimes it seems that nothing is happening, no change is taking place, no greatness is being unveiled.  However, that water is filling up, little by little, with every drop of effort, with every choice.  This is true devotion.  And one day you suddenly have a lush and abundant, transformed Self.

Let’s never give up this journey of transformation!

I hope that you all create a happy day!

What Do I Want?

Sometimes when my students are struggling, I will ask them to take out a piece of paper and write at the top ‘What Do I Want?” Then, freely make a list of absolutely everything that they want.

After emptying out all of their desires, the next step is to go back over the list and circle the top 3 things that they want the most.  This helps them to identify what they really want.

I took a course once where this was called ‘the ladder of desires.’  It starts off with the most basic desires, such as ‘I want to eat something delicious…I want to take a nap…’and goes deeper and deeper, through the corridors of  ‘I want money, good health, someone to love me’,  and all the way down to the very depths of the heart.  There we find the Soul’s desire.

This is a very healing exercise.  I ask people to do it when they are struggling because it brings clarity.  All of those unconscious desires that are stuck inside of us can cloud our minds and leave us entangled in emotions without even realizing what’s going on, or what it is that we are not satisfied about.  After writing it all out we can organize our consciousness and see where we have been, where we are now, and where we want to go.  Then the place to focus becomes clearer and the mind becomes quieter.  Automatically, the heart becomes lighter and happier.

I always feel joyful when I recover the feeling of my Soul’s desire in my heart.  It is a light and sweet feeling of joy that smiles inside. For me, I want freedom.  Freedom from fear and freedom from my small self – from the person who I think is ‘me’ but is not really me.  I want to become one with Life itself, or God, or whatever anyone would like to call it.  I want to be fully present and alive, like a radiant flower.  And I want to make a healthy earth and humanity.

And as I contemplate this it of course leads me to the next question which I find to be even more intriguing. The better question for me these days is, “Who Am I?”

Who is the ‘I’ that wants?  Which ‘I’ am I working for and choosing for, even in this very moment?

Ilchi Lee once said that the biggest obstacle to enlightenment is your first, middle and last name.  Isn’t the ‘I’ that I so often consider ‘myself’ just a compilation of information and memories?  Isn’t it just a body that had a named tagged on it once, and a mind full of stories, desires and habitual emotions?  But, who am I really?  This is the real question….

As I said, I want freedom from that small self who is just an illusion of me – a shadow – and I want to unite with what I sense to be a deeper truer self.  I think that’s what I came to this magnificent planet to do – to rediscover and reunite with that self.  That Great Self.

As I sit here right now the tree outside my window is waving it’s bright red autumn leaves in the gentle, but chilly wind.  Life is beautiful.  I am Life.  Therefore, I am beautiful.

When we remember this, so many of our worldly worries go away.   I can’t help but feel it is how we are meant to live.

Let’s dig a little deeper than our daily to-do lists, deeper than our repetitive thoughts and emotions.  Let’s go deeper even than what society tells us is right and wrong, good and bad, or anyone tells us for that matter.  Let’s find out who we really are, and then let it shine 🙂