Sometimes when my students are struggling, I will ask them to take out a piece of paper and write at the top ‘What Do I Want?” Then, freely make a list of absolutely everything that they want.
After emptying out all of their desires, the next step is to go back over the list and circle the top 3 things that they want the most. This helps them to identify what they really want.
I took a course once where this was called ‘the ladder of desires.’ It starts off with the most basic desires, such as ‘I want to eat something delicious…I want to take a nap…’and goes deeper and deeper, through the corridors of ‘I want money, good health, someone to love me’, and all the way down to the very depths of the heart. There we find the Soul’s desire.
This is a very healing exercise. I ask people to do it when they are struggling because it brings clarity. All of those unconscious desires that are stuck inside of us can cloud our minds and leave us entangled in emotions without even realizing what’s going on, or what it is that we are not satisfied about. After writing it all out we can organize our consciousness and see where we have been, where we are now, and where we want to go. Then the place to focus becomes clearer and the mind becomes quieter. Automatically, the heart becomes lighter and happier.
I always feel joyful when I recover the feeling of my Soul’s desire in my heart. It is a light and sweet feeling of joy that smiles inside. For me, I want freedom. Freedom from fear and freedom from my small self – from the person who I think is ‘me’ but is not really me. I want to become one with Life itself, or God, or whatever anyone would like to call it. I want to be fully present and alive, like a radiant flower. And I want to make a healthy earth and humanity.
And as I contemplate this it of course leads me to the next question which I find to be even more intriguing. The better question for me these days is, “Who Am I?”
Who is the ‘I’ that wants? Which ‘I’ am I working for and choosing for, even in this very moment?
Ilchi Lee once said that the biggest obstacle to enlightenment is your first, middle and last name. Isn’t the ‘I’ that I so often consider ‘myself’ just a compilation of information and memories? Isn’t it just a body that had a named tagged on it once, and a mind full of stories, desires and habitual emotions? But, who am I really? This is the real question….
As I said, I want freedom from that small self who is just an illusion of me – a shadow – and I want to unite with what I sense to be a deeper truer self. I think that’s what I came to this magnificent planet to do – to rediscover and reunite with that self. That Great Self.
As I sit here right now the tree outside my window is waving it’s bright red autumn leaves in the gentle, but chilly wind. Life is beautiful. I am Life. Therefore, I am beautiful.
When we remember this, so many of our worldly worries go away. I can’t help but feel it is how we are meant to live.
Let’s dig a little deeper than our daily to-do lists, deeper than our repetitive thoughts and emotions. Let’s go deeper even than what society tells us is right and wrong, good and bad, or anyone tells us for that matter. Let’s find out who we really are, and then let it shine 🙂