On the Topic of Hurt and Value

Recently, I came across a small passage by my teacher, Ilchi Lee, on the subject of being ‘hurt.’

I found it intriguing because hurts and wounds are things that I have had to deal with for most of my life.  From one perspective, I can say that I am a person who has experienced many hurts and I tend to get hurt easily.  I feel like I have spent A LOT of time climbing out of that hole.  At some point in the climb, my attitude changed from,“Poor me, life gives a lot of hurts to me” to, “I’m tired of victimizing myself all the time – NO MORE!”  The empowerment that I experienced when I made the switch of mind fuels me as I continue to work with this aspect of myself in pursuit of creating a healthier and happier me and a healthier and happier life!

Having said all of that, I’d like to share Ilchi Lee’s passage with you:

Having been hurt greatly, many people think only and constantly of those hurts.  Holding onto your hurt doesn’t heal it.  The past has passed, the future is yet to come. Those who know Absolute Value laugh out loud.  ‘It rained on me,’ they say with a laugh, and shrug it off.  It’s not always raining. Sooner or later the rain stops, and, eventually, the sun comes out again. Those who know Absolute Value can create their lives anew.

Be grateful for your reality. If you’ve been hurt, just think of it as a hurt you once gave to someone else. Whether that hurt is great or small, it’s a process those living in this material world will have to go through.

This little passage made me feel so many things when I read it!  First of all, I love where he says, If you’ve been hurt, just think of it as a hurt you once gave to someone else.  That is so humbling to me. I feel it’s really true and when I think like that, there is no space to stay in victim consciousness.

Second of all, what is Absolute Value?  To use the above scenario, the sun would be the Absolute Value.  It is always shining in the sky, it’s just that clouds come and temporarily cover it, or the Earth turns and temporarily hide it from us.  However, it’s always there, quietly shining and waiting.  It doesn’t get sad or upset when it’s covered. It just shines in it’s Being-ness.

What’s even more important is knowing that we are like the sun.  Our True Nature shines like that – unbreakable and unending.  It just gets covered from time to time with the stormy weather of our hearts, but it is always there.  So when I can remember that this is my value – not the rain or wind of my thoughts, emotions, and wounds – but this eternally shining Light, then I can let such hurts roll off of me.  It’s all about what we identify ourselves as.

These days I often remind myself, “I don’t exist.”  It might sound strange, but I want to keep remembering that the small “I” who I have been identifying myself as – who is a cultivation of stories and beliefs and memories – actually doesn’t really exist.  She only exists as much as I hold onto her existence.  But if that “me” is causing me great suffering, then why keep holding on?  It would be a wiser choice to breathe out and let the stormy weather pass, reclaim myself as the great sun that shines brightly at all times, then re-create my moment again.  What’s most amazing to me is that I have actually begun to truly experience this and live my life this way – after longing for it for so many years.  And it is quite refreshing!

Am I pain free?  No way.  Which is why I love the last sentence of this passage maybe most of all — that this is a process we all have to go through.  Because we have bodies, because we live on the planet inside of a material world – we just have to accept this process of growth and development that we are going through.  The process of polishing the Divine Light within us until we can really see ourselves and our lives clearly.  The process of slowly coming out of the illusion, into the Sun- Light again.  Embracing it all as a process makes the journey much more joyful.  Think about it: Without the many years of grinding in the oyster, the shiny little pearl would never be born!

Let’s become the brilliant pearls of humanity together 🙂


6 Thoughts.

  1. Omg I absolutely love this with every fiber of my being. The one thing that drew me to you initially was that like me, you weren’t sitting around having a pity party for yourself and the whole adoption Journey thing but you were trying to be better all of the time and that is my heart. I don’t like the storms and I get very angry when there is a storm, however nothing will ever dull the shine in my soul. I have to say to that that passage where he says to think about the times you’ve hurt somebody… oh my gosh that struck me to the core of my being as well. We are human beings flesh and blood with imperfections and idiosyncrasies but I hope that I am continuously learning and growing and that my light never dulls. I appreciate you sharing so much with so many people and for being such a ray of sunshine not only to me but many others you are loved respected and appreciated so much. This is my favorite blog so far. Much love to you

  2. Thank you Danielle for a very thought provoking blog. I read it with great interest as I would describe myself as a person who has experienced a lot of loss during this lifetime. The words “absolute value” make sense to me in terms of being the indwelling of the divine, ie. our true self where the ego does not rule. I understand it as the place where we see ourselves through God’s eyes which are the eyes of unconditional love. We become One.
    How wonderful for you to be experiencing and having glimpses of that reality.
    Such awakenings can only happen if we are truly in the Present moment which is very challenging. May you continue to have such blessings.
    …..love, Charlene

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